wanna be a chick magnet?

Assalamualaikum and happy Sunday awesome people!~

so today's entry is all about the boys, or men, if you prefer.. every now and then, I have guy friends who ask me relationship cheeze, like, why won't this girl like me? why does this girl hate my guts? why do birds fly? why do elephants poop? why can't I find a decent hot looking girl who likes me for me and not my money? and a whole bunch of other questions.. I am no expert in relationships or girls, but I guess coz I'm an easy and approachable girl friend of said guys probably made them open up and ask em questions..

so I'm gonna help them by answering the questions here, also to help other guys out there who got no friends to help em out with girl stuff LMAO.. =D so here are some frequently asked questions I get from guys.. if they fit your current predicament, feel free to follow the advice I give ya'll.. 

are you a chick magnet?

Q1 : why won't girls like me?

dude, have you looked at yourself in the mirror? I know how people say that looks don't matter, but I'd be lying if I agree to that.. girls are attracted to pretty things as do guys to hot or sexy things, am I right? don't be lying to me and say, a girl will like me coz I'm nice and I do her homework for her and shit, coz you're just deceiving yourself.. okay, granted, some girls do work that way, but trust me, you need to look good, or at least decent, to be able to actually have a chance with a girl..

my advice : trim your beard, wash your hair, take a bath, iron your clothes, wear masculine perfumes, trim your fingernails, and put on some confidence.. coz hunny, you don't need to look as hot as an underwear model or as cool as an actor, you just need to look good and smell great.. appearance is everything but looks is nothing without hygiene.. seriously! take care of your hygiene and we'll be attracted to you.. if not attracted, we girls will give you a fighting chance.. got that? ^^

Q2 : why are girls gold diggers?

dude, if you attract a girl by showing off your iPhone, iPad, iPod, Macbook, Proton Perdana, Honda City, Nike shoe collection, back stage passes to the hottest concerts, and then shower her with shopping sprees and expensive presents, why wouldn't she be interested with your money? it is the one making her happy, am I right?

my advice : don't play the money card too fast.. when you guys go out on a date, don't take her to the most expensive restaurant, a decent restaurant will do.. dates serve as a time for you to get to know the girl, not to make her fall in love with your money.. if she loves you for you, she won't care if you're homeless or dirt poor! =D

Q3 : why won't girls talk to me?

dude, have you checked your breathe? like seriously, some men have the worst breathe and they literally push the girls away themselves just by opening their mouth and talking.. it might be your breathe, it might also be your body odour, but bottom line is, CHECK THEM! your friends might never tell you the truth that your body reeks so bad that a dolphin stranded on the beach would get up and walk back into the ocean, just to run from you.. so ask your family members if you have body odour, it's less embarrassing if your sister tells you that compared to your friend.. coz we girls are super sensitive to bad odour so if we can't stand being near you, why would we talk to you?

my advice : before approaching a girl to talk to her, check your breathe and body, make sure you don't stink.. if you happen to reek at that time, have some mints or chewing gum handy as well as masculine purfume to spray on.. I would suggest deodorant, the strong kind, okay?

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alright, I'm gonna stop here, I'll continue later.. do ask me questions if you happen to have em, and i'll answer em from a girls point of view.. hope this has been helpful!~ ^^