in the midst of madness

Mood : Confused

Assalamualaikum and hello awesome peeps!

I don't really know the exact purpose of this post, probably just for me to find and outlet to vent.. so yeah, new year.. 2013.. it will be an epic year for me, the changing of status from single to married.. I guess I haven't thought about it much before, but now it's getting so close (30 days and counting), I'm starting to feel..... worried.. there's a lot of things that aren't competed yet, hantaran, wedding invitations, dress fitting, and God knows what else..

the preparations aren't fully done by me.. my mum, cousins and my sister help plan and execute a majority of the wedding arrangements, (and thet've been doing a very good job, trust me) I would help out a bit when I am back in Kedah.. coz I'm now working in KL, so I'm not able to help much.. but before I started work in December, I did manage to do a lot of stuff la, not saying I ignored the preparations completely.. sometimes I feel bad about it but there isn't much I could do from afar.. I just hope everything would be done in time, with only a month away, I'm starting to feel light headed..

you know how people say once you're close to the wedding day you tend to get cold feet? and that you might cancel the wedding and refuse to marry on the day itself? well, I for one know I'm NOT going to do that, but I'm not gonna lie and say I'm not scared.. the responsibilities I would need to carry once I'm a wife is a lot.. I know I can do it Insya Allah, but would I be good at it? would I be good in taking care of my husbands clothes, food and other necessities? perform my duties as the perfect wife? I like to cook, but I hate doing the dishes, especially with clogged sinks.. and I despise doing laundry and ironing, I usually get my mum or sisters to do them for me.. LOL.. and the whole sharing your whole life with someone - living in the same house, breathing the same air, having someone next to you when you open your eyes in the morning - oh my, that is scary yet wonderful at the same time..  :)

so yeah, here I am in the midst of the madness of getting married, the tasks I have to complete at work, and the thoughts of life after marriage, looming in my head.. the pressure is on, but I'm not sure with whom I share this pressure with..

30 days and counting