Mood : ignored
I want to be happy again..
right now I'm just wearing a mask, a happy mask..
I smile and laugh when it seems to be needed..
I crack jokes and make other people smile..
when in truth, I just want to cry..
yes, I've been secretly crying these past few days, but don't tell my mum..
nah, she'll read this anyway, so who cares?
my heart isn't happy..
I feel lost, and think about weird things at times..
heh, ironic how negativity found a new friend this new year..
I want my positivity back..
I want to smile, and laugh, and MEAN IT..
I don't like to be plastic anymore..
I want to be happy..
I want to be happy, just like you..
you're happy now, aren't you?
yeah, I bet you are..
once upon a time, I was happy..
but will my happiness return tomorrow?..
or the next day?..
or the day after that?..
will I mean my every smile after this?..
we'll never know..
so much for a bright 2010 huh?..
sumpah, ironi gila!
p/s :- I tried, I honestly did.. whatever it is, whatever I did to push you away, I'm honestly sorry, from the bottom of my broken heart.. and I never told anyone about our conversation.. it's still our secret.. now it's up to you for the next step..
p/s/s :- I have always hated goodbyes.. you know that, right?..