I tried, I honestly did..

Mood : ignored

I want to be happy again..

right now I'm just wearing a mask, a happy mask..

I smile and laugh when it seems to be needed..

I crack jokes and make other people smile..

when in truth, I just want to cry..

yes, I've been secretly crying these past few days, but don't tell my mum..

nah, she'll read this anyway, so who cares?

my heart isn't happy..

I feel lost, and think about weird things at times..

heh, ironic how negativity found a new friend this new year..

I want my positivity back..

I want to smile, and laugh, and MEAN IT..

I don't like to be plastic anymore..

I want to be happy..

I want to be happy, just like you..

you're happy now, aren't you?

yeah, I bet you are..

*sigh*

once upon a time, I was happy..

but will my happiness return tomorrow?..

or the next day?..

or the day after that?..

will I mean my every smile after this?..

we'll never know..

so much for a bright 2010 huh?..

sumpah, ironi gila!

heh..

p/s :- I tried, I honestly did.. whatever it is, whatever I did to push you away, I'm honestly sorry, from the bottom of my broken heart.. and I never told anyone about our conversation.. it's still our secret.. now it's up to you for the next step..

p/s/s :- I have always hated goodbyes.. you know that, right?..