Tuesday, January 5, 2010

I tried, I honestly did..

Mood : ignored


I want to be happy again..
right now I'm just wearing a mask, a happy mask..
I smile and laugh when it seems to be needed..
I crack jokes and make other people smile..
when in truth, I just want to cry..
yes, I've been secretly crying these past few days, but don't tell my mum..
nah, she'll read this anyway, so who cares?


my heart isn't happy..
I feel lost, and think about weird things at times..
heh, ironic how negativity found a new friend this new year..
I want my positivity back..
I want to smile, and laugh, and MEAN IT..
I don't like to be plastic anymore..
I want to be happy..
I want to be happy, just like you..
you're happy now, aren't you?
yeah, I bet you are..
*sigh*



once upon a time, I was happy..
but will my happiness return tomorrow?..
or the next day?..
or the day after that?..
will I mean my every smile after this?..
we'll never know..
so much for a bright 2010 huh?..
sumpah, ironi gila!
heh..


p/s :- I tried, I honestly did.. whatever it is, whatever I did to push you away, I'm honestly sorry, from the bottom of my broken heart.. and I never told anyone about our conversation.. it's still our secret.. now it's up to you for the next step..


p/s/s :- I have always hated goodbyes.. you know that, right?..

26 comments:

k.A said...

hey,apa jd? be strong ya? God,bring my miss positive back!

Judiene said...

hey girl, what's wrong?
it's like u're having an issue with urself
just buzz me if u need someone to talk to k
=)

fitriah said...

love matters, darling?

feshnie said...

w...t..h...
whazzup with the emo start of the year?

HIZAMI said...

erk.
speechless.
hurm.
h0pe u g0nna be fine.
;D

ichiban | いちばん said...

susah betoi den nak khobar kn... x tau lah camno nak buek dah.. hahahha.. btw... all the best la.. huhuhu

StrewberiManis =) said...

what happen??

*rindukan kecerian kamu yg dulu =(*

arque said...

adeh.sakit gak ni.
be strong ok. ;P

Eazy Izzuddin said...

hey...
be happy always kay....
happy 2010

sHaH said...

u forgot about me meh?

gud la..

i'm here for u..
ko je yg takmo share..

☺[ai][sUmi]☺Chan said...

puas mencari nk klik komen.. kat bwh nih upenye.. ^_^ hepi 2010 dear.. hepi sokmo eyh

syaf said...

dear, need 2 be strong ok...
always think positfi2..i understand wth ur situation now, chill dear k

GreenKhadijah said...

I thought love from your family is already enough until you are ready for that special someone in the future...what are you thinking...this is worldly matters...

love you sis...:)

Just_najmiE said...

k.A..

thanks.. I feel stronger now.. n I even I want my positivity back!.. (^^,)

Just_najmiE said...

judiene..

noted.. thank you.. =)

Just_najmiE said...

fitriah..

I'm not romantically involved with anyone..

Just_najmiE said...

feshnie..

it's a long story..

Just_najmiE said...

hizami..

as am I.. thanks.. =)

Just_najmiE said...

ichiban | いちばん..

it's complicated.. thanks anyway..

Just_najmiE said...

StrewberiManis =)..

it's a long story.. heh..

Just_najmiE said...

arque..

thanks, I'll try..

Just_najmiE said...

Eazy Izzuddin..

I'll do my very best to.. thanks.. happy 2010 to u too..

Just_najmiE said...

shah..

I didn't forget about u, but I chose to not share.. I'm sorry.. some things can't be shared.. hope u understand.. ice blended eh nnt?.. hehe.. =P

Just_najmiE said...

☺[ai][sUmi]☺Chan..

hehe.. thanks sis.. i'll try to be happy.. u be happy too okeh! =)

Just_najmiE said...

syaf..

thanks dear.. so nice of u to drop by.. i'll be strong.. thanks again.. (^^,)

Just_najmiE said...

GreenKhadijah..

it's not romantically related la.. hehe.. but yeah.. guess i'm just lonely.. muahaha~~ tak ah.. =P

love u too! (^^,)

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