Mood : adoration..
today is 21st July, Fathers' Day..
a day to remember all the kindness and sacrifices that our fathers have made, is making and will make in the future..
but not for me..
I can only think back on my fathers' kindness and sacrifices, because I have lost my father, twice..
this is a post dedicated to my late fathers..
Kamisan bin Abd Rahman (24/12/2000)
my biological father
Mustapha M'Timet (28/06/2006)
my step father
A Walk Down Memory Lane
let's look back on the life of my late biological father, Kamisan..
he was in the army once, a long time ago before we left for the States..
he looked so handsome back then, very fit..
he was involved in a car accident that took his life..
he was involved with the army since his university days, joining PALAPES..
after graduating, he continued that path..
He was stationed in Bn305 Inf at Bukit Kayu Hitam, Kedah since1984 until 1994 before he opted to terminate his service early and accompany my mom to pursue her PhD in University of Memphis in Tennessee, USA between August 1995 to January 1997..
Before leaving for US, he took the ex-service placement program that help prepare the soldiers to adjust to the public life..
He tried the food business by baking cakes for the festive season..
this is him with his firstborn, my sister, Kak Ijah..
the young father..
he was 23 if I'm correct..
A family picture somewhere in 1991..
I'm the one in green..
my mum told me that I was moving all over the place so she had to forcefully hold me on her lap..
well, what can I say, I'm kinda ganas..
my siblings minus Wahida at home with abah..
this was taken before he went to work..
I don't really remember this day, but I'm guessing we didn't take our bath before snapping this picture!
meh dad looking smart and handsome as usual..
attending University of Memphis Convocation at the Pyramid..
this was in the early days of our stay in The States..
I don't know who graduated, but congratulations!
us at the Gateway Arch in St. Louis..
the place was huge..
but the lookout point at the top of the arch was small and cramped..
loads of people..
I guess we went there during school holidays..
my hair had gotten longer..
abah at the Vietnam War Memorial in Washington..
I don't remember much of this place, except that there were lotsa war statues and whatnot..
my dad was wearing the jacket that says, 'Tentera Darat' in The States..
wonder what the people would say if they actually knows what it means..
us taking a break in the park..
I like this picture of abah..
the sun hits his face just right..
I miss him..
abah sorting out the groceries and organizing stuff..
he tends to do that and he is good at that, force of habit from the army..
just imagine the twin door car fits all six of us for the trip that covers 4995 miles to the west covering Oklahoma, north of Texas, New Mexico, Utah, Wyoming, Kansas, and back to Tennessee..
according to my mom, it was a 14 days trip on the road between campsites, places to see and the R&R..
So... packing, unpacking, reorganizing is part of the things that he does best..
we were just doing what we do best, being models for mummy!
this was taken somewhere near our apartment in Memphis..
we loved inline skating so we self taught ourselves..
at least I think so, if my memory serves me..
ahhhh, the great Grand Canyon..
it was hot and dry there..
but lots of people came to this spot..
even though it looked really hot there, the hotness of Malaysia is greater..
at the USA - Canada boarder, in Maine..
it was snowing and really2 cold..
I still remember this day..
we also went to Niagra Falls..
winter weather + water molecules in the air = very cold me!
this was taken in school, Intan's class..
the tall guy there is Mr Dixon, Intan's teacher..
I think this was during Open Day at school..
my shirt says Whatever..
I really liked that shirt, but I don't know where it went..
now this was at DisneyWorld..
we were all waiting for the parade..
it was awesome, spectacular!!
mum said the American lady made way for us to sit coz mum told her we got great results in school..
principals' honor role's list weih..
this is a picture of abah on a plane..
he was returning from Egypt..
mum said the guy next to him is a lecturer in IIUM..
but I dunno who the guy behind dad is!!
now moving on to my step father, Sidi..
I'm sad to say that I don't have much pictures of him, because he rarely came to Malaysia..
he lived in Canada, but he was from Tunisia..
but I have memories of him in my heart..
always smiling in photos..
he also smiled as he was wrapped in 'kain kapan'..
he passed away due to a rare illness called amyloidosis in Kedah Medical Centre on June 28th 2006
this was taken when Sidi when to take Ainis UPSR result..
such a long time ago..
see, he's all smiles..
this was during a dinner celebration for Sidi's 55th birthday..
he started getting sick around in May 2005, if my memory serves me..
but I do remember this day..
he ordered tomyam, the spiciest that place could make..
and believe me, it was spicy like hell!
but Sidi ate it with no problem, not even breaking a sweat..
I miss him too..
even though we didn't spend lots of time together, know this..
I have always loved you as a father..
thank you for coming into my mothers life, and also my life..
and we will miss your kitchen talk..
I honestly think, if my abah was still alive, I would be a different person..
I wouln't know what kind of different, but I'm pretty sure it would be..
but I believe that everything happens for a reason, his and Sidis death included..
I grief of their absence in my life but I have accepted it and I have moved on..
life wasn't full of daisies either after they left our lives, but the only thing that we, my family and I can do, is strive..
strive for a better future..
I guess it had been one of my reasons for doing well in my studies..
god I miss them..
for those out there who still have fathers, cherish the moments you have with them..
you might never know when he'll leave you forever..
be a good son / daughter and listen to what he tells you..
coz you still have yours..